Three Stories by: Armando Zatarain

I remember my first shift at NBPD. Morning watch-Lt. Spears, Sgts. Doug Thomas; Doug Fletcher and Darryl Youle?. I had NEVER spoken to any of them before that night. We were working with a shift of 8 plus 3-4 cover cars; in October 1983. I had been told that the new guys sat up front and made the coffee. I did both. I was determined to keep a low profile and remain under the radar. All the dispatchers were in the back of the room along with Beswick, Dr. Death, the Geek , The Mexican; and others. There were 20 year officers in the room. I had seven years as a cop. Lt. Spears gets thru the briefing in about 5-10 minutes. We have 20 minutes to kill. Spears, takes off his glasses, looks straight at me and says, “Armando we’ve got 20 minutes, why don’t you tell us about your three ex-wives?” I could feel my ears and my face turning the color of an over ripe tomato. Some of the dispatchers gasped. Everyone

was laughing. God Bless Lt. Spears, old bastard. lol

I remember another story. I was sitting in the front again several years later. The newspapers were reporting that an alligator (It turned out to be a Cayman that someone got tired of as a pet) had been seen multiple times in the back bay and that cats and small dogs were turning up missing. The community was in an uproar. Lt. Spears is discussing the alligator at briefing. He whipped off his glasses and surveyed the
troops. He said, “I’m buying drinks at The Snug for the officer that kills or captures that sonofabitch.” (He was talking about the alligator.) From the back of the room, Charlie Beswick calmly says, “Put a blonde wig on it. Mando will find it.” Everyone in the briefing room started laughing even me.

Another time I was telling the briefing room how when I was at Stanton P.D. we had a lot of shoplifting calls at an Alpha beta Market. I had accepted the citizen’s arrest of a very large African-American woman in a large muu-muu. She had been arrested by store security after she was seen placing a large half ham under her dress and between her legs. She kinda waddled out of the store until plainclothes security officers stopped her. People were saying, “No way, no way, how could she do that?” Tom Tolman tilted his head, put his hand to his face and finger to the side of his head, furrowed his brow and asked, “Was it bone-in?”

Vaya con Dios

Armando Zatarain